I AM THE NEW CEO OF GENERAL MOTORS!

GM CEO “Fritz Henderson” resigned Tuesday after the board of directors told him the company was not moving quickly enough. In response, Henderson cleaned out his desk, jumped into his new Mercedes Benz and peeled out of the parking lot shouting, “Am I moving quickly enough for you now?” A major issue facing General Motors is passenger …

IF IT’S TUESDAY THIS MUST BE…

I sent my travel schedule to a psychiatrist today.  Because my schedule is INSANE! Tuesday, November 3: I flew from Philadelphia to Seattle, Washington this morning. (My second trip to Seattle in 2 days) Got off the plane, drove up to Everett, Washington, where I spent an hour in the Gold’s Gym, and then drove out …

NoCal!

I was in Northern California last Saturday (thank you everyone in Hanford!). While there I was amazed to learn a story that has haunted me ever since. I had to share it with you. Just outside of Yosemite National Park, anthropologists discovered an enormous statue of “Sasquatch.” The structure was hand-carved entirely out of coal, …

ITS A BROKE WORLD AFTER ALL

It’s true. Disney is laying off workers because the recession as hit even the “happiest place on earth.” As someone who works with puppets and doesn’t curse, I have done some work for the mouse, which gives me unique insight to the situation there. First, future DVD releases include “One or Two Dalmations.” They have …

PSEUDOPSEUDOHYPOPARATHYROIDISM

There is a disease on the loose, and I’m afraid there is no easy way to say it: “pseudopseudohypoparathyroidism” It’s harmless. But as I stated, there is no easy way to say it. It’s one of the hardest words in the world to pronounce. It’s related to calcium deficiencies (hypoparathyroidism – which is the second …