GM CEO “Fritz Henderson” resigned Tuesday after the board of directors told him the company was not moving quickly enough. In response, Henderson cleaned out his desk, jumped into his new Mercedes Benz and peeled out of the parking lot shouting, “Am I moving quickly enough for you now?” A major issue facing General Motors is passenger safety, especially after Tiger Woods wife showed how easy it is to break an Escalade’s window with a putter. Last week a man was visiting family on Long Island, NY, for Thanksgiving dinner. As he walked across the front yard, he felt the ground beneath his feet beginning to collapse, then plunged neck-deep into the house cesspool. He likened the experience to watching ABC’s “The View.” Favorite story in the rear-view-mirror: The Arizona Board of Cosmetology ordered the closure of a salon that used fish – we’re not making this up – to nibble dead skin off customer’s feet. The Board said the fish could not be sterilized as required by law. Here at Taylor Mason Headquarters, we feel this is harsh behavior on the part of the Cosmetology Board, which can only be described as… “CALLOUS.” Congratulations to Susan Boyle, the Britain’s-Got-Talent superstar who sold just over 700,000 copies of her debut album in one week. That makes it the best debut by a woman artist in the Billboard Soundscan era (the past 15 years or so). Kanye West opened his big mouth and says it’s because she’s better looking than Taylor Swift. Comcast is buying 51% of NBC from General Electric. They originally wanted just 25%, but agreed to take Jay Leno’s chin, too. The deal means Comcast has all of NBC’s current TV shows and the weather channel. Whoa! One network now provides both natural disasters and man-made disasters. DON’T FORGET THAT PACO PIG PUPPETS MAKE GREAT CHRISTMAS GIFTS! You can order them right HERE at Merry Christmas!