I’m so thankful that we live in this day-and-age. Just think: if Christopher Columbus had The Discovery Channel, none of this would ever have happened! This is why I don’t drink coffee: I drank a cup one day at lunch, and it was awful. I told the waiter, “My coffee tastes like mud!” He nodded and said, “I know. It was fresh ground this morning!” Computer Haiku, just for you! Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and PC crashes. Guess which one happened. Windows has crashed. I see the blue screen of death. No one hears my screams. A file that big? It had much information. Time to get a Mac.

Quiz time: a man comes up to you, holding a potted plant, and says, “Smell it!” You bend down to smell the flower, only to have water squirted in your face from the plant. What do you call this person? Idiot? No. Classless? No. He’s what we call a HYDROLOQUIST.

Lots of folks have asked me, “Taylor? How do you re-invent yourself? How do you re-vitalize yourself? How do you re-make yourself?” The answer is easy. I go where anyone named Taylor goes: A RE-TAYLOR (sounds like retailer).

And here’s a little poem of inspiration and motivation for you:


by Taylor Mason

Oogie was a Cyclops, and it always made him cry - Cause everybody else had two, but he only had ONE eye. But these days Oogie has a choice, there is something he can do! He went down to the mall and got himself an eye tattoo!

  I’ll be in Ashland, Ohio, this Friday night! Come on out! 1196 Twp. Rd. 1506 
Ashland, Ohio 44805 For info call:  419-289-2664