General Motors has come to an agreement with Koenigsegg, and will them Swedish automaker Saab. Koenigsegg is a small company that makes high-performance sports cars, and for the first time in weeks, nobody at Saab is sobbing. How about those Lakers? Kobe Bryant and Phil Jackson led the purple-and-gold to another NBA championship last week. Lots of L.A. fans were in the arena to celebrate with their team. Orlando hadn’t seen that much purple since the big Varicose Vein Convention of 1994. Phil Jackson got his 10th all-time championship, and was so excited he lost cadence while chanting his mantra. California Governor called Commissioner David Stern in the NBA front office, and demanded to borrow some of the Laker’s winnings. And right after the big celebration, Shaquille O’Neal used Twitter to send Kobe a tweet. Of course, half of the 140 characters Twitter will allow are used up when Shaq signs his name… Speaking of Twitter, the online messaging service delayed their scheduled downtime for maintenance early this week in order for Iranians and others to get news out of the country regarding the post-election protests. The decision-makers at Twitter knew things were serious because none of the millions of messages coming out of Iran had the usual tweet: “I’m not do anything. How about you?” The government of Iran is jamming signals of independent news agencies there, hoping to suppress information. Consequently, nobody in Iran is watching TV, so all their networks have hardly any viewers, kind of like ABC, CBS and NBC here. Protestors battled police in Tehran Sunday, disputing the re-election of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Much of the vitriol is directed at votes coming in from precincts in Florida’s Dade County. CBS superstar David Letterman’s apology for a crude joke about Sarah Palin’s daughter was accepted by the Alaska governor. Wouldn’t you know it? Alex Rodriguez, who was mentioned in the joke as well, called Ms. Palin and told her that he didn’t even go for teen-agers in the first place. But he thought politicians who fight TV comedians in the press are “really hot.” You can read more of my opinions about this here: www.newchristianvoices.com Sleep researchers (we want that job!) have concluded that sleep disturbances are more common in people who are not married, unemployed or have lower education and/or income. Our solution? Forget the Sominex! Join a dating service, rob a bank, and use the money to go back to college! Weird Al Yankovic released a new single called “Craigslist.” He pays homage to The Doors and Jim Morrison in the tune. Uh, Weird Al? You’ll never be The Lizard King. Dude, you look like the Lounge Lizard King. More news from the music world. Phish closed the big Bonnaroo Music Festival in Tennessee on Sunday night. The bookers should have seen this coming. Phish in Tennessee? Some 5,000 ticket-buyers in the very confused crowd brought buckets of night crawlers. Last Friday a sound tech accidentally knocked over a glass of water on President Obama’s 129-year-old desk. Don’t feel bad, man! A sound tech did the exact same thing back in 1880, right after Rutherford B. Hayes took office. No sweat! Thank you for reading! Dear Taylor: My sister and I celebrated our 23rd birthday last week. The real cause of our celebration was not our age, but the fact that our birth weight has officially doubled in the past 23 years! Hooray! Pass the chickpea! Love, Ashley and Mary-Kate, the Olsen Twins!