In a stunning turn of events that I could never have foreseen or predicted, my partner Romeo has been accused by The United States Government of criminal activity. President Obama himself (see picture) came to my humble home in Moorestown this week and personally arrested Romeo. Apparently my alter ego is the "low level staff member" responsible for the Benghazi cover-up, the journalist-wire-tapping scandal between the Department of Justice and The Associated Press and Fox News, not to mention the IRS targeting of religious and non-profit political groups who oppose the president. I'm still in a state of shock regarding the arrest and the accusations, and I only had a moment to ask my sidekick if any of these allegations are true. His angry response (and I'm paraphrasing) went something like this: "You think that I work for this administration? You must think I'm a lifeless, brainless, easily-manipulated tool that does whatever it's told no matter the repercussions! That's an insult!" When I tried to ask President Obama how I would be able to do my job without my erstwhile partner, Romeo interrupted and said, while laughing, "You think these clowns can hold me?" I'll keep you updated!