This is going to look bad as you first read it, but give me a chance, please. Here at, we can solve all the problems for the United States! First, we move our government into the global marketplace as a corporate entity (U.S. Government, Inc. – kinda like what President Obama did with the auto companies and banks). Obviously we have to cut costs, the way any big business would. Do we keep our congressmen and women? No! We outsource and replace them with teen-aged girls from Thailand, The Philippines, Sri Lanka and Mexico. I know that seems wrong, but read between the lines!
1) We get all those ladies out of the sweatshops and into better working conditions. 2) We pay them $200 a day! That’s a 1200% raise for them, and we are cutting our costs dramatically! 3) Nothing personal, but let’s face the facts: they are fast learners, they work harder and they might even listen to their constituents! 4) Bonus! Congressmen and women can replace the girls and find out what it is to work for a living! 5) Double Bonus! They are trained to complete tasks, see projects through to the end, and do exemplary work! It’s a win-win!
Both my wife and myself celebrated our birthdays this week. We have been married for years and we have a solid relationship, but I’m honest enough to know that I am not her ideal man. My wife’s ideal man is 6-foot-2, 195 pounds and made of pure milk chocolate. OK, this is weird, but stick with me. Picture Harry Potter in your mind. Or better yet, get a book cover or pic of Harry at some website. Now, get rid of the wizard hat. Get rid of the make-up. Change his clothes to a red-and-white shirt and a Dr. Seuss-style red-and-white striped hat. Keep the big round glasses. Is it Harry Potter any more?   No! It’s WALDO from “Where’s Waldo! With everything that is going on in Washington, D.C., the staff here at has boiled the issues down to the essential elements that Americans expect from their elected officials. We don’t want a bunch of faceless bureaucrats in Washington, D.C. telling us what to do! We don’t want a bunch of incompetent elected officials telling faceless bureaucrats to tell us what to do!   No! What we want is a bunch of nameless special interest groups telling incompetent elected officials telling faceless bureaucrats to tell us what to do!