February 17, 2010

I’m so thankful that we live in this day-and-age. Just think: if Christopher Columbus had The Discovery Channel, none of this would ever have happened! This is why I don’t drink coffee: I drank a cup one day at lunch, and it was awful. I told the waiter, “My coffee tastes like mud!” He nodded […]

February 9, 2010

Since I travel so much, I see a little bit of everything. For example, every town in the country has a “sports bar.” I had never been to one, so I finally decided to take the plunge and visit an establishment. It was amazing. It was breathtaking… The place was huge. They had three basketball […]

February 2, 2010

Do I travel much? Yeah, I do. I got a call from Secretary of State Hillary Clinton last week, telling me to slow down. I’ve been to more states than Greyhound. More countries than Continental Airlines. More planets than Whoopi Goldberg! Here is a 72-hour take on my escapades: Friday Morning: up at 5:45am. I walk […]

January 26, 2010

Want to save money while learning a foreign language? Take Spanish at your local ATM! All the new dictionaries that have been printed in the past couple of years are more expensive than ever. You want to know why? Because they’re all High-Definition Dictionaries! We all know the state of California is having a financial […]

January 19, 2010

We lived in California, and our roof needed to be replaced. I thought I could save a few bucks and install the red tiles, which are so popular in SoCal, all by my lonesome. Bad move. After a day of lugging tiles up and tearing off the old roof, I realized I had too many […]