Here are some notes for anyone who likes opera, is an opera singer, or wants to fake it and act like they know opera. You’re welcome! Here are some comments you can make: “I can’t sing with her. Her perfume is clogging my resonating cavities!” “Although my part is quite small, I believe the audience will expect me to take the final bow.” “The second soprano’s German is so bad that everyone can understand it!” “Hello? Am I the only one who hears the coloratura is SHARPING her notes?” “I saw Siegfried at The Bayreuth Opera House, and believe me: it was more rinse cycle than ring cycle!” Always feign surprise at applause. And here’s a fun one: tell the stage manager that you have run out of places to put the roses and bouquets that are being thrown at you. And telegrams. Ask if you can use his “little desk area.” And if you want to get really funky, ALTER THE TEMPI. Want to hear a real rock opera? Come see me in Marlton, New Jersey on May 11 and May 18 at Casa Carollo. Tickets and show times here.