So we’re trying to re-build our house on Long Beach Island, New Jersey, after Superstorm Sandy. My wife loves IKEA. My opinion? If IKEA was smart they’d put a marriage counseling office right in the store. For pre-and-post-purchase therapy. By the way, if Home Depot wanted to really be consumer friendly, they’d have these signs posted where everyone could see:

• Stuff You Need Section
• Stuff You Didn't Know You Needed Until You Got Halfway Into Your Project Section

There are a ton of Do-It-Yourself TV shows and books these days, too. But what I need is the Get Someone To Do It For You book. Yes, re-building is a nightmare, but nothing compared to the hilariously incompetent and insane nightmare Carnival Cruise Lines is going through right now. The agent that books the acts on their ships called and offered me a gig, but only if I use a paddle in my act. Some British auction house now has the violin played by the bandleader as the Titanic sank. Which is pretty cool, but here in New Jersey our local pawn store has the can of air freshener the captain used when the Carnival Triumph stank! My latest video project is available on my website. You can pay for it and download it right off my merchandise page, and proceeds got to Kids Against Hunger. Thanks for reading! Taylor