Yeah, it’s gray and rainy on the East Coast, the temps are dropping and it gets dark around 5:00 p.m. With the holidays approaching, some folks are already feeling the stress and strain of the party-and-hubbub of the season. Some of us get the blues around this time of year. But I’m not fuss and I’m not gonna raise a holler. Because that’s the summertime blues, and this is November. I love the brouhaha over the Starbucks cups! Let’s see: Christian people are being murdered all over the Middle East. High school coaches and players are reprimanded, slandered and penalized for praying, or for pointing to the sky after scoring a touchdown (!?), and militants all over the USA get physically violent about a church displaying a cross. And there are people among us who are UPSET ABOUT A STARBUCKS CUP?! We are dumbing down so fast I cannot keep up. I have discovered the mantra, the mission statement and the most important office in Washington, D.C. It isn’t the Oval Office. It’s not The Pentagon, the Houses of Congress, the IRS or any other official governmental body/building you can name. It’s a little-known backroom where all the decisions are made and clarified. Its name? THE DEPARTMENT OF WE-MAKE-IT-UP-AS-WE-GO-ALONG. Good news for environmentalists! I was shopping for a new car, and took a little Kia for a test drive. Wouldn’t you know, it ran out of gas (I drove 11 miles when the indicator was actually a quarter-inch BELOW “empty!”). What to do? It’s brilliant. I put it on the back of a bicycle I borrowed from a passerby, rode over to the nearest gas station, filled ‘er up and drove back to the dealership! (Where was the passerby as I rode? Duh! IN THE KIA!) The IRS won’t leave me alone. This morning they sent me an angry letter telling me the government cannot get by on what I am making. I am to work more, make more and not complain, THERE IS A NEW ORDER! Dear Scientists and Medical Researchers: let’s cut to the chase. Want to really help people here in the United States and around the world, improve quality-of-life and lower health care costs? PLEASE INVENT A HEART THAT RUNS ON CHOLESTEROL! This Friday evening I am in Millstone, New Jersey at The Performing Arts Center! Tix Here!