Taylor’s latest newsletter features a couple of dramatic run-ins with one of the most celebrated coaches in football history. Read all about it!
April 6, 2010
It’s important to stay on top of things, right? That’s fair enough. But if you’re staying on top of things, how in the world can you get to the bottom of things?
Here is what I ask myself every day after I get out of bed:
Should I write a novel? Record that new song for the website? Help someone less fortunate than myself?
Or should I just play World of WarCraft all day?
See if you know that answer to this question:
You have a night of bad dreams. In the first dream you’re walking in a jungle, alone and lost. Suddenly you step into quicksand. You can’t escape. It sucks you down. You wake up shaking, glad to be alive.
Same night, you have dream # 2 – this time you’re parachuting with some friends. Your chute doesn’t open. You’re falling, falling, falling. You wake up just before you hit the ground, out of breath and scared.
You go back to sleep, and your third dream finds you in the trunk of a car. The car stops, you’re pulled out, a cement block is tied to your feet and you are thrown into a lake. You wake up in a cold sweat.
In subsequent dreams a piano falls on your head; you get hit by a car; you get pushed off a boat into a school of sharks; you are thrown off the top of a building.
QUESTON: what should you do when you finally wake up that morning?
ANSWER: DO NOT GO ANYPLACE! STAY HOME!
And finally: if they can make silly string, why can’t they make aerosol spaghetti?
SUNDAY NIGHT, APRIL 25! MAKE PLANS NOW! I will be appearing at First United Methodist Church in Moorestown, NJ! 7pm show. Tickets are $12 each and can be purchased at my website or at the venue! THIS WILL SELL OUT!
COMING SOON: SPECIAL “TAYLOR MASON FAN CLUB” OFFERS FOR PACO PUPPETS, DVDs, THE NEW COMPLETE IDIOTS GUIDE TO VENTRILOQUISM AND MORE!