Taylor’s latest newsletter features a couple of dramatic run-ins with one of the most celebrated coaches in football history. Read all about it!
May 13, 2014
The truth is that many, many great books have titles that are oppressive or some sort of -ism (you can take your pick).
I have come to the rescue! Here are some great titles from literature that I’ve taken the liberty to re-name, in the spirit of progressivism, love, peace and fairness – so nobody’s feelings are hurt and political activism is promoted!
THE OLD MAN AND THE SEA: Obviously the word “old” is an insult. Ice caps are melting. New title: “THE MALE SENIOR CITIZEN AND THE RISING OCEAN LEVEL.”
MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY: This is clearly a stab in the back to organized labor! New title: “CRISES AND INSURGENCY, NOT TO MENTION VIOLENCE, DUE TO UNION STRIKES AND UNRESOLVED PERSONNEL ISSUES ON A VESSEL KNOWN AS THE BOUNTY.”
THE HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME: The sheer audacity of the title in modern times is enough to start a round of congressional hearings! New title: “THE VICTIM OF NO HEALTH CARE, LIVING IN POVERTY, WITH A SEVERE PHYSICAL AILMENT WHO RINGS THE BELL AT NOTRE DAME.”
LITTLE WOMEN: Do I even need to state the obvious again? New title: “HEIGHT-DISADVANTAGED FEMALES WHO ARE JUST AS GOOD IF NOT BETTER THAN MALES.”
MOBY DICK: I’m not even going to explain the many reasons this title is offensive! New title: “A VIOLENT PSYCHOPATH WHO KILLS WILDLIFE FOR PERSONAL PLEASURE MEETS HIS MATCH AND GETS WHAT’S COMING TO HIM.”
I’m re-writing history myself, and you can see me do it live. I’m in Manassas, Virginia this Saturday, May 17 and Mitchellville, Maryland on Sunday May 18. Tickets here: www.wava.com – and there is a special deal – groups of 4 or more qualify for $10 ticks per person! See you there!