Just in time for August (literally), here is Taylor’s latest newsletter, I Am My Data. Enjoy!
June 28, 2009
I’ve had a really nice start to the summer, doing three shows at the spectacular theater on the campus of Harding University in Searcy, Arkansas. Thanks to the staff there, the excellent tech people, and everyone who made those three Sunday nights such a great time! You cannot beat Arkansas during the Humidity Festival!
I won’t make fun of people who have died, particularly those who passed away under such tragic circumstances, as did Farah Fawcett and Michael Jackson last week. It should be noted that Jackson’s passing caused so much internet and web traffic that many sites and servers were down for a few hours after the news hit critical mass. The only positive we could find here at Taylor Mason Headquarters (TMH) came from the celebrity-gossip website TMZ.com, which broke the story. TMZ’s stock-in-trade is dishing the dirt and glorifying and/or berating well-known entertainers and politicians. Oddly, the price-per-share of their stock plummeted, probably because they have lost their primary news source. I want to send my condolences to friends and family of television icon Ed McMahon who also died last week. McMahon was there when TV became a great unifier for all America, and he is one of the last recognizable icons of a golden age that has since passed into history. I had a professional relationship with Mr. McMahon, who handed me the winning check back in 1991 on a now-forgotten TV show called “Star Search.” I’ve had fun at his expense for the past 18 years, relating my experiences on the show, so I won’t go into that here out of respect. But I’ll always remember Mr. McMahon for treating me graciously, and I’ll forever be thankful for the show, the opportunity, and the chance to work in Hollywood. Godspeed, Ed McMahon.
One of the highlights of this summer for me was a gig way up north of Vancouver, British Columbia (that’s in Canada). While there I picked up on a story about this 84-year-old man who spent four days trapped in an old dry well. According to The Royal Canadian Mounted Police, one of their search dogs found the guy. We don’t want to start rumors here at taylormason.com, but we hear that the dog’s name was “Lassie.” And the old-timer is named “Tim.”
Singer/actress/celebrity mom Jennifer Lopez will be discontinuing her line of high-end urban streetwear (ie; really expensive but cheaply-made clothing) that she introduced to the marketplace in 2003. The line was known as “Sweetface,” and the marketing department here at TMH (Taylor Mason Headquarters) feels that is the reason for the slow sales and ultimate failure of the brand. The name that would have sent J-Lo-clothes into super-success-land? “Sweetbutt.”
Which brings us to a million-dollar-idea that anyone reading this can feel free to use and make money with. You don’t even have to give us credit! Want to make money in the “urban clothing” business? Open a store – preferably at your local mall – and call it “GANGWEAR.” You’ll be profit-crazy in a month.
We’re not golfers so we love to make fun of the sport. Last week in Austin, Texas, a 73-year-old was frustrated with the player in front of him, feeling he was going too slowly. What to do? Well, this being Texas, the old guy pulled out a loaded gun and aimed it right at the slow duffer. Police arrested the old cowboy (cowgeezer?) but no harm no foul, right? The slower player wasn’t worried. He was wearing a lime green shirt, and the older golfer hadn’t hit a green all day.
Thanks for reading!
It’s official. We have purchased Chrysler. But we don’t want the citizens of The United States to have any anger toward us. Therefore, the first car that our new Chrysler/Fiat factory builds will be an inexpensive hybrid pizza delivery vehicle that runs on toppings!
Pass the Parmesan!