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June 9, 2009
Congratulations to 12-year-old Clara Ma of Lenexa, Kansas! She earned the honor of naming NASA’s Mars rover this week. The 6th-grader from Sunflower Elementary School came up with the moniker “CURIOSITY” for the craft, which will roam the surface of planet Mars in 2011. NASA officials were impressed with Clara’s idea, particularly if the rover encounters some vicious Martian cats.
A high school in Eastlake, OH, mistakenly sent a note home to graduating seniors telling them they would have to “leave the state immediately after the ceremony.” Officials have sent out a correction, thank goodness, informing the class of ’09 that they need to turn in their locker keys first.
Mary Kate Olsen and Vanessa Hudgens (she from the cast of High School Musical) will co-star in a modern-day version of “Beauty and The Beast.” We can’t wait! Mary Kate will place a spell on the male lead by forcing him to watch an entire season of “Full House.”
Quick note: Here at Taylor Mason Headquarters (TMH), “Full House” is in our Top-5 All-Time TV Shows. Favorite episode? The one where D.J. stands at a clifftop, considering suicide after her boyfriend dumped her! CLASSIC TV! It has everything: bad acting, over-acting, preachy message, and total insincerity on the part of the adult actors! Bring back the good old days!
Whitney Houston will release her first album in more than seven years this September. About time, huh? Asked what role her husband, Bobby Brown, played in the making of the project, Whitney shrugged and said, “Beats me.”
We can’t stop watching the YouTube video of Bret Michaels during the Tony Awards. In case you missed it, Bret (lead singer for heavy-hairy metal band “Poison”) was hurt Sunday at Radio City Music Hall during the yearly Broadway award show, when he ran into scenery while performing. AWESOME! Michaels was part of one of the great tours in rock music history, when his band joined with another heavy-metal three-chord-wonder band called “Ratt.” Their tour? The “Ratt Poison Tour.” Bring back the good old days!
Erica Kane, Susan Lucci’s character on the longtime-daytime soap opera “All My Children” is at it again. The fictional Kane, who has had 10 husbands, is going to fall for a much younger man this season. He is her daughter’s ex-husband, and her ex-fiance’s stepson. Confused? We are. However, we found the silver lining: if this doesn’t scare Ashton Kutcher, nothing will!
Here at Taylor Mason Headquarters (TMH), we take it upon ourselves to treat everyone with dignity and respect. So we will not attack or make fun of the White House’s Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor, the likely replacement for Justice David Souter. However, it has been revealed that she is more than $400,000 in debt. This includes her mortgage, credit card bills, and a very large dental bill. That last one is easily explained. She misunderstood the Republicans message during the last election, when they were chanting “Drill, baby, drill!” Chin up, Ms. Sotomayor!
President Obama says his $787 billion stimulus plan will deliver more than 600,000 jobs this summer. Wow, great news for the unemployed among us, right? Many of these jobs will obviously involve washing cars at the new company he just bought.
Thanks for reading! Thank you Paul, Jerry and Marsia! Taylor
Dear Taylor: I have loved being part of “American Idol.” However, I’m not sure that I will be returning for Season 9. Then again, I’m not sure that I was there for Season 8, so no big deal, right? Thinking hard, Paula Abdul