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April 19, 2010
What a week it was. Wednesday, April 14th, I performed at The Dutch Canadian Club in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. I think it says a lot that I have to go to another country for work…
Thursday, April 15th, I performed at The University of Wisconsin at Green Bay. I did the show in their “Phoenix Club.” The best line of the week came from one of the students who talked to me after my set. She told me that her major is Philosophy, “so that she can deal with being unemployed after she graduates.”
I learned that the UWGB is changing the font size for letters and printed materials in an effort to save money. Some of the wise students at the school are lobbying to get professors to change the fonts for grades, as well. For example, the university can save tons of cash by having professors change capital “F’s” to small “a’s.”
Thursday was tax day, and according to reports, Pamela Anderson of “Dancing With the Stars” owes $500,000 in back taxes. After seeing her in one of the gowns she wears on the show, she’s lucky she didn’t have to pay front taxes, too.
Friday, April 16, I was in Manvel, TX, just south of Houston, at New Hope Church.
I always want to do this joke when I’m performing for churches, and I always forget:
Do you know what the Serpent of Eden said to Eve in the garden?
“How do you like them apples?”
Saturday, April 17, I flew to St. John in the Caribbean, and performed for Thrivent Insurance at the Westin Resort on that beautiful island. These guys know how to party! You might think insurance reps and financial planners are boring, but you’d be wrong.
Of course, when I saw that I would be working for a group called “Thrivent,” I was scared at first. I thought maybe they had booked three ventriloquists. That many dummies on stage would resemble a senate committee hearing, and nothing is less funny and more boring than The United States Senate.
I flew home on Monday, April 19. Travel is getting worse and worse. When I checked in there was a price list, kind of like a menu, posted at the ticket counter. They charge for extra baggage, carry-on baggage, the use of a pillow or blanket, and for drinks or food. After all that, I went through a scanner, as the airline checked my body for any money they hadn’t collected yet.
SEE YOU THIS WEEK IN OXFORD, MICHIGAN ON FRIDAY!
EATONVILLE, WASHINGTON ON SATURDAY!
AND THIS SUNDAY I’M AT THE FIRST UNITED METHODIST CHURCH IN MOORESTOWN, NEW JERSEY!