Taylor’s Latest Newsletter: Futurosity

September 27, 2016


Hey there! View Taylor’s latest newsletter, Futurosity!

Taylor was stellar!


I just wanted to let you know that Taylor was stellar! I am so thankful for such heartfelt, sweet people that are so dang funny! He was a blessing to all and I just wanted to say thank you! I’m sure we will work together in the future!

Blessings,
Denise Weaver
Jonah’s Joy: Home for Children

It was so much fun!


Taylor did an incredible job as always.  It was so much fun to see everyone participating and having a great time at the Family House Hilarity Charity House Party

Laura Blackaby
Family House
Peoria, IL

Standing-O!

September 7, 2016


Taylor was fabulous!  He got a standing ovation and some of our attendees posted comments of appreciation on his website.

Best regards,
Connie Schaeffer, President
Air Carriers Purchasing Conference

Hermine

September 6, 2016


Taylor Mason on the BeachI’ve written about it on these pages before: I am a Weather Channel junkie. Mike Seidel is a hero. Jim Cantore is a superhero. The “weather on the 8s” concept is part of my daily life. Nothing new there.

So when The Weather Channel (TWC) tells me to prepare for a major storm, I do it. We got hit by Superstorm Sandy, remember, and that kind of event sticks with you.

Our New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie, declared a “state of emergency” over the Labor Day Weekend. People stayed away in droves from Long Beach Island where our house sits. We were ready to take on major wind and water damages. Sunday morning, tuned into TWC, hoping for a glimpse of Mike or Jim, a crawl appeared at the bottom of the TV screen and read something like this:

“Do not be fooled by the bright sunshine, the warm breezes and the comfortable temperatures. This storm could attack you – and we mean YOU, TAYLOR MASON – at any minute.”

It was then that I looked at my wife and youngest child, and the three of us headed to the beach.

You get the feeling, watching TWC during these weather phenomenons, that someone is saying, “Our ratings are peaking! Keep up the bad news!” But even with Doppler Radar and the NOAA advisories and satellite pix from space, the truth revealed itself: TWC was wrong. I wish they’d just come out and admit it: “OK, we made a mistake. The storm is gone and we exaggerated a little. Our bad.”

Because after a while even the hosts and the on-site reporters ran out of bad weather to warn us about.

They were interviewing joggers with questions like, “Do you jog often?” One particularly hilarious encounter took place on a windswept beach between a TWC reporter and one of those “metal hunters” – the people who have the radar equipment and patrol the beach, looking for loose change and the occasional trinket.

The ‘hunter,” a woman in her 40s, said she was hoping to hit the jackpot: a gold bracelet or a lost diamond ring. “I’m hoping to find some expensive joo-lery,” she said, hilariously and annoyingly mispronouncing the word jewelry and making me stand up out of my chair and cry, “If you want some expensive jewelry, why don’t you first learn to pronounce the word! Then sell all that equipment you have and by yourself a ring!”

The hurricane and storm known as “Hermine” did cause major damage and tragedy in Florida and along the Virginia/Carolina coast, and I feel the same anguish and sorrow most of us feel for the many losses people in those areas are dealing with.

But TWC? You got it wrong this time.

I’ll be in Chicago performing at Zanies Comedy Club this Sunday night! Stop by if you have the time!

 

 

Taylor’s Latest Newsletter: I Am My Data

August 30, 2016


Just in time for August (literally), here is Taylor’s latest newsletter, I Am My Data.  Enjoy!

You should have been there!

August 22, 2016


Taylor Mason was perfect!!!! He entertained an audience with the youngest being 8 and the oldest being in their 90’s.  I believe everyone in the room wants him back in the future!!!  The talk in the community the next couple days were “you should have been at that event!!!”

Karen Voss
URSA Ag-Coop|
Ursa, IL

Lawsuit

August 10, 2016


God LawyerA man at my old church has filed a “breach of contract” suit against God. He bought a lottery ticket, prayed, patiently waited for the results and lost when the grand prize was awarded to a lawn service worker in another town. This, despite God’s written promises that “anything you asked in faith would be granted.”

This man has based his lawsuit on the following:

Matthew 21:22 – And whatever things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.

Mark 11:24 – Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them.

John 14:14 – If you ask anything in my name, I will do it.

The clerk who sold this person the losing lottery ticket at the local convenience store is named Ahmed Saayid. Though he would prefer the use of “Allah” when referencing the Creator, he is willing to testify this person bought the lottery ticket at his store, took the ticket and prayed there and then on the spot! (The exact words: “Dear God, please let me win, just this once!”)

He established God’s residence at our church (Timothy 3:14 refers to church as “The household of God”). He and his lawyers are fairly certain that Jesus will comply with the summons, based on His behavior during His previous arrest.

*  A personal side note here: I’ve always been a little surprised that Jesus never filed a wrongful death suit against the Roman Empire. And what about the 150-plus times in the Old Testament where He could have filed “breach of contract” against His own people? All that to say that I doubt Jesus will file a countersuit against the guy suing Him.

There are applicable precedent cases for the attorneys in this case, including Moses et al vs. The Almighty in their 40-years of wandering in the desert after He promised to lead them to “a new land.” The estates of original defendants settled out of court for this “promised” property, plus they got military assistance in evicting the current occupants at the time.

Let’s not forget Adam & Eve vs. The Almighty, either. They sued for “reckless endangerment” since God did not properly secure the Tree of Knowledge. And then there is the case of the completely improper eviction from The Garden – they were not given 30-days’ notice, and the subsequent eviction that included flaming swords was not only over-the-top, but dangerous to innocent people in the area.

All that to say, I think this man has a shot.

Hope you can come see me this weekend in Yonkers, New York; or in 2 weeks – Tuesday, August 23rd – at The Punchline in Atlanta. Tix info below!

HA! Comedy Club/Yonkers

The Punchline/Atlanta

 

Read Taylor’s latest newsletter: Newzak

August 1, 2016


Read Taylor’s latest newsletter: Newzak here!

Prudent


Taylor’s performance today for our qualifiers and family members was fantastic. He was so easy to work with, extremely professional and did a spectacular job interacting with our audience, especially the kids.

Please pass along to Taylor how wonderful he was … and man is he funny! Belly-rolling in the audience. Our executives loved him as well.

Thanks again.

-Prudential Insurance Group