Free Education

October 19, 2015


Click to read Taylor’s latest newsletter, “Free Education.

10

October 13, 2015


Everything was a 10.  It was fantastic.  Taylor was amazing and connected so well with our men.  Some of the men told me that they had never laughed that hard in their lives.  I believe the evening with Taylor lifted them high above where they were.  Having him there was the icing on the cake so to speak.  He also was one of the easiest guests I have ever had to work with – definitely low maintenance.  I will definitely keep you in mind for future events and will share about my experience with you with my colleagues.  Thanks so much.

Major Randy Hellstrom

The Best Part of Her Cruise


We were on the Disney cruise – the Dream – and on September 2nd attended the 8:30 show. You called Scarlett on stage and you gave her Ramon. She has been ecstatic ever since. She sleeps with him every night. She loves putting a show with him. That was the best part of her cruise.

Thank you Taylor Mason!

Frances Carpenter

Taylor’s latest newsletter, “Random Notes”

September 30, 2015


Click to view Taylor’s latest newsletter, “Random Notes.”

Time Trials

September 16, 2015


I don’t like time.

I don’t like time because it’s always time for something, but as time goes by it seems like I have less and less time. So I don’t like time because I don’t have time, and I can’t stop time, and it seems like there never is time.

temp-clock-faceIf I could make time I would. But I never take time, and on those precious few times that I am right on time it seems like someone says, “OK, time’s up!”

Then, before I can do anything about it, time flies. Great, now I’ve lost time, so I have to find the time but time waits for no one and I finally have to admit it to myself: there just isn’t any time.

Sometimes I get lucky and I have spare time. Occasionally I have time on my hands, but guess what? Time runs out! Yes, time and time again I do something on my own time only to lose track of time. I can’t tell you how many times I have asked myself, “Where did the time go?”

So, what to do this time? I’d like to be a percussionist, whose job it is to keep time. Instead, I’ll have to settle for biding my time and remember that once upon a time there were good times. The best of times, even. There were also bad times and the worst of times, though most times were something in between.

Now I’m out of time.

Do you know what the key to comedy is? TIMING.

But next time you tell that joke, do it this way: ask your audience, “Do you know the key to comedy?” And as they begin to answer, you interrupt them and shout, “TIMING!”

Works every time!

Join me this Friday and Saturday at The Comedy Cabaret in Doylestown, PA, for a great time.

And that’s all the time we have…

temp-time-flies

Robots

September 9, 2015


temp-robotsChanges are happening so fast in the world that none of us can keep up. So for all my friends who are new to the workforce, or thinking about changing careers or jobs or their future, here is some unsolicited information based on my travels.

Employment is changing. There are going to be increasingly few industries in the coming decades that require human involvement. Why? Because the robots are coming. It’s a fact.

QUESTION: How many robots does it take to change a light bulb?

ANSWER: Two. One holds the other up to the bulb, that one changes it, the other one turns in a circle until the bulb is screwed in.
HUMAN INVOLVEMENT: 0

The industries that will be hiring for the coming years are health care (which is good – we all want to be healthy, right? And working in a business that helps people live is a pretty good thing, right?), finance (which is part of health care in many ways including stress, expense and preparing for the worst), and intense skills that require direct human involvement – once-passé jobs like carpenter and landscaper and so on.

Most of the other jobs we take for granted, from cashier to sales person to farmer and construction worker – even police and firemen! – are going to become the realm of the robot.

NEWS STORY: A robot walks into a bar, orders a martini, lays down a credit card and says, “gimme a tab.”

The bartender pushes the card back to the robot.

temp2-robots“We don’t serve robots,” he smugly says.

The robot is nonplussed. “Oh, yes you do,” and proceeds to make a dry martini without the bartender’s help in a matter of seconds.

Which leaves what for human beings?

The future is going to be defined by the way we use our time, our energy and our brains.

The future of jobs is creative answers. Not just “creative” as in the arts. I’m talking about creative solutions to an awesome array of problems that are as yet unforeseen. Every decade brings with it new issues, cultural, personal and professional. Not to mention international.

And the solutions to these problems, across all spectrum of human life, will come from ideas and the thought processes of folks like you and me.

Because…

Did you hear the one about the robot who went to Walgreen’s? It walked to the back of the store, to the pharmacy, and stood in line. When it got to the counter the pharmacist looked at the giant metal-and-fiberglass creature and asked, “May I get you something?”

The robot replied, “A soul, please.”

(The pharmacist suggested listening to some Chopin, reading some Flaubert and perhaps studying ancient Greek society, but the robot said, “I already did that…now what?”)

We will define our persons, our families, our professions, our communities and our country by using our minds and our hearts to find creative, positive solutions to the issues in front of us.

I was doing my ventriloquist act in a comedy club when my “partner,” Romeo, told a bad robot joke. “Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a robot, and it ate 5 already!” A robot in the audience heckled me. “What gives you the right to stereotype artificial intelligence that way? You should be ashamed of yourself!”

I was flustered and I stammered out, “Uh… I’m sorry, Mr. Robot.”
The robot shouted at me, “I’m not talking to you, moron! I’m talking to that guy on your knee!”

Hope to see you this Friday night in East Hempfield, Pennsylvania! TICKETS HERE